1. |
Pick My Stitches
01:59
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i don't want to pick my stitches
for another headline slot
i don’t want the dam to crumble
if this is our only shot
if thinking about the past
causes an earthquake in my chest
i won’t watch the tsunami grow
waiting on the beach
if the only way out is through
then i don't want to turn back
and get lost again
what's the point in that
i want to think about the good days
the ones where my shoes fit right
and i can walk in a straight line
the days where your hand
fits perfectly in mine
and i got out of bed at the right time
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2. |
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wrapped up in our own insecurities
but i’ve never felt more secure than when i’m with you
i’ve never felt less alone than when you’re with me
i’ve always struggled with a higher meaning
with a sense of purpose, with what i’m doing
but if i’m stuck here, and never moving
at least you’re with me
and i promise to love you if you can’t love yourself
and i know that you love me more than i hate myself
i can’t carry it for you, but i can carry you
if you promise to carry me too
i spent the first five years fucking up all my plans
and the next five years trying to be with my friends
and i’ll spend my thirties like my twenties,
trying to be less depressed
safe in the knowledge i look great in a dress
and you’ll be with me
we spend our days in drag
pretending to be who we were meant to be
but when we come home, we don’t feel so alone
cause i can see the real you
and you can see the real me
and if that’s all we ever get
and somehow we never move
as long as you’re here with me
then i guess that’ll do
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3. |
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how's this for heartbreak?
is this what it's like?
when you're standing in the wreckage
of five years of your life
how's this for heartbreak?
is it so bad?
it's only feeling like you're losing
everything you ever had
how's this for heartbreak?
how's this for feeling
so fucking small
boxing up your favourite things
pulling pictures from the walls
how's this for feeling
so fucking scared
spending every waking moment
so completely unprepared
now i'm afraid of my own thoughts when i'm awake at 3am
feeling lonely by myself, feeling anxious with my friends
and i know i've only got myself to blame
and i know that things can never be the same
how's this for heartbreak?
i'll be okay again
and you’ll be okay again
we’ll be okay again
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4. |
Ten Feet Tall
03:45
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i hope to plant something
and live to see it bloom
i will take your rotted garden
what's left is mine to use
i hope to plant just one thing
and see it live and grow
that would be enough for me
just take your things and go
a sunflower can grow to be ten feet tall
and so can i
if i try
i don't care what you say
and as i pulled new skin
over your old drawings
it felt like spite
or hope
or both
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5. |
Footnote
05:30
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are you afraid
i'll never turn out like you wanted me to
are you ashamed
i'm not just a tinier version of you
isn't that the point
am i not supposed to do better than you
isn't that the point
raising the bar that we hold ourselves to
cos i need to sleep at night
and look myself in the eye
i've got your veins in the back of my hands
but my conscience is mine
is this really it
is this the best you can do with your time
is this really it
is this the hill where you're going to die
does it feel good
turning your back on the people you love
does it feel good
undoing all of the work that you've done
cos when you're a memory
on the wrong side of history
we'll build something stronger than you
and i'll wish you were proud of me
you gave me the strength of my gut
and you gave me a voice to use
but blood isn't thicker than love
and my friends are the family i choose
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6. |
The Lighthouse
02:26
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i lost part of myself across the sea
dashed on the rocks are rotting bits of me
sunken ballast, barely floating,
weighed me down until i cut them free
now i'm stranded on an island
and i won't ever feel at peace
until you sail across the ocean
safely landed and with me again
so i'll mould bricks from my bones
fashion my teeth into stairs
turn my flesh into foundations
build a lighthouse to guide you home
follow the light and you'll find me
(i lost so much of myself)
follow the light and you'll find me
(but i'm shining for you)
i couldn't fight what was inside me
just look for the lighthouse
when you're ready
to stand beside me
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7. |
The Space Between
05:35
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let me get a word in edgeways
slide between the thin space
wedge open the gap
and let through something new
so turn the lights down low, babe
let's pretend that this body
(my body)
is my body
let's pretend just once
that these hands
could be the hands of the man of your dreams
press myself into a better shape
like handprints in cement
sign my name so i remember
who i've left behind
so cover your ears, babe
let's pretend that this voice
(my voice)
is my voice
let's pretend just once
that these sounds
could call you by name, back to our home
let me slide between the meanings
live inside the bridged gaps
a foot on both sides of state lines
i'm everywhere at once
so please remember, babe
i am not a blank slate
i feel it all, from here to here
again and again and again
so will you take my hand, babe
let's prove to the world
(this world)
our world
let's prove to every
body
that we are more than our bodies
worth more than our bodies
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8. |
Cross My Heart
02:40
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cross my heart and i hope to find a way
to tear myself away
and let this lie
picking through the things you left behind
to find some peace of mind
and let this lie
i wanna let you reach inside my head
rearrange the circuitry and help me to forget
i wanna let you wash over my skin
and carry me to somewhere i can be myself again
the pieces of myself i tied to you
that i'm still clinging to
they weigh me down
i need to know if i can be someone
if i am anyone
without you now
i wanna let you tear open my chest
drain the bad blood out of me and let me start againi wanna let you punch me in the face
pick myself up off the ground and get my head on straight
i wanna be myself again
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9. |
Headaches
03:51
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an aneurysm took my friend
he fell asleep and he didn’t wake up again
he wouldn’t have known a thing about it
his wife woke up and he was dead
now i focus on every twitch in my head
every lightning headache
and every rush of blood
and each dull pain behind my eyes
has me convinced i’m going to wake up dead
i spend my life so afraid to die
i’m not sure i’m living
i waste so much time trying not to waste time
i’m not sure i’m living
and every time i give in to the voice that says i’ll be nothing
another year’s gone by
a tumour in the brain took my grandad
he fell asleep and he didn’t wake up again
well he knew it was coming but he didn’t accept it
and i held his hand as he went
now i picture his face when i look in a mirror
i don’t feel like a man
but i can’t hide his brow
and each dull pain behind my eyes
has me convinced that’s how i’m gonna die
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10. |
Needle & Thread
05:05
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i dipped my feet into the ocean
to wash off all the sand
the salt-cleansed cracked skin
gave way to something new
so instead of opening old wounds
what if i hand you the needle and thread
and we can patch ourselves up together
and stand here hand in hand
what if old haunts could become new hopes
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